


Squick

by yeaka



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Gen, Vignette
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-11-08 17:20:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20839184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yeaka/pseuds/yeaka
Summary: Noctis has seen some sh*t.





	Squick

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don’t own Final Fantasy XV or any of its contents, and I’m not making any money off this.

“Noct?”

The fact that the apartment’s dead quiet doesn’t necessarily mean that something’s wrong. Sure, he’d expected to find Noctis lounging on the couch, over-indulging in a slew of violent video games, or maybe blasting awful music from the bedroom, but sometimes Noctis does just pass out in silence. He sleeps more than anyone else Ignis has ever met. Except he usually closes his bedroom door, and this time it stands ajar.

Ignis knocks on it just in case, and a pitiful voice answers, “Hey.”

Ignis creaks the door open. The lights are off, the curtains drawn, but Noctis’ laptop is on his bed, illuminating the headboard in a bright fluorescent glow. It takes Ignis a moment to find Noctis himself. The crown prince of Insomnia is huddled up in the far corner, wrapped in a protective cocoon of blankets. He looks like he’s about to start rocking back and forth and chanting to himself. Confused, Ignis announces. “I brought dinner. Since you did so well on Friday’s exam, I decided to include dessert. But I think we should go over last week’s council report before eating...”

Noctis nods. But he doesn’t look up. His eyes are on the floor, unfocused and a tad too wide. Concerned, Ignis presses, “_Noct_?”

Noctis finally looks up at him. But no explanation comes. Ignis wanders in, weaving around the bed, and comes to kneel before his shaken prince. He asks, “What happened?”

Noctis winces and grunts, “Nothing, I’m fine.”

“You’re definitely not fine. _What happened?_”

“I read a bad fic.”

Ignis blinks.

Noctis clarifies, “A really, _really_ bad fic.” He gulps before looking away and bitterly adding, “I’ll never be able to go to Kenny Crow’s again...”

Ignis doesn’t even want to know why Noctis was looking up Kenny Crow fanfiction. Ignis didn’t want to know there even _was_ Kenny Crow fanfiction. He’s not surprised, just disappointed in humanity. He can already tell it wasn’t a happy mascot fic.

With a weary sigh, Ignis asks, “Who was he with, Noct?” Because obviously he had to be _with_ someone. Noctis might think he’s slick, but Ignis knows exactly what his prince’s not-so-secret preferences are. Noctis winces again.

“Tony the Tonberry.”

“Good lord.”

“_I know, right?_”

Ignis doesn’t want to know what they were doing. He can guess, and that’s bad enough. He imagines the fact that tonberries don’t have any visible genitalia won’t have stopped the inevitable horrors Noctis must’ve witnessed. Noctis starts ranting anyway, “I mean, it started off really cute; it wasn’t rated, but I figured hey, they’re beloved family figures, right? They’d probably be adorable just striking up a friendship ‘n stuff, and yeah, I saw the slash between the tags, but I figured they’d just hold hands or something, and it started off that way, but then there was this really compelling plot with a robotic cat and a box of sentient fries, so by the time Kenny and Tony started kissing, I was already so invested, and then I figured, hey, I’m an adult, right? I’ve read some fucked up stuff before. It can’t be that bad. But Ignis. Ignis. It was _so_ bad. I knew I should bail when the next chapter had a watersports tag, but I figured, hey, it’s sterile, I’m already in this deep, I’m sure it’ll just be this one chapter and then I’ll finally figure out what happened to the cat’s microchip heart, but then I found out where Tony was hiding the fries, and then the asshole author totally didn’t tag the next chapter right so it was totally out of left field—_oh Six I read French fry vore_—but I was already twenty-seven chapters in so I couldn’t just stop there, but then... then... _the spatula_...” Noctis cuts off with a violent full-body shiver. He swallows and meekly gulps, “There was fanart.”

Ignis vainly hopes: “Tell me you didn’t click on it.”

“I clicked on it.”

“I’ve taught you nothing.”

Noctis whispers, “_The spatula._”

Ignis doesn’t know what to say. All he can do is reach out and pull Noctis into a tight hug, squeezing comfortingly. He tries to rub soothing circles on Noctis’ back, but the layer of blankets is so thick that Noctis probably doesn’t feel it. 

Ignis quietly suggests, “Maybe you’ll feel better with a distraction. Do you want to come play some Justice Monsters?”

Noctis sniffles and nods into Ignis’ shirt. Ignis says, “Okay, let’s go play some Justice Monsters.” He offers his hand, but it takes Noctis a few seconds to take it. 

They go into the living room and take turns blowing up each other’s karts in combat mode. Then Noctis eats dinner while Ignis wipes his internet history, cleans out his cookies, and starts finding nice, g-rated, gen fanfiction to cleanse Noctis’ ruined pallet and help him get back on the horse.


End file.
